M.Y.O.B*

I lead a very simple life. No serious ambitions, less fights so less number of enemies, I work 5 days a week and take rest on my off days, I have a rather wide circle of friends which I try and reduce the radius of once in a while, I don't run marathons, I don't participate in any peace march or anti corruption march (that's basically because I am afraid of getting tanned, all the sun screens have given up on my skin), I am not into serious money making so I am happy the way it is. So, you see! I am a peace lover.

But what gets to me is irrelevant interference. The topic in focus 'when are you getting married?'.

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Now, If you are a dear and near friend of mine you will not ask me this question because you trust me enough to believe that if it is to happen in the near future, you would know WELL in advance. If you are a 'Hi, bye' friend and you ask me this question, I would forgive you because it's only rarely that I hear from you. If you are an acquaintance and is curious to know about my 'marital' plans, I might still forgive you because I like healthy stalking. That again depends on 'your tone', 'your gesture' and 'your facial expressions'. I suggest that you smile and If you can't smile, at least fake it.. I don't mind. Now, the bad characters. Distant relatives, relatives who are not distant but never talk in front of your face and those who can kill you with their sarcasm. They are the ones who think that their one and only purpose of being alive till now is to get you married.  

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When they feel you are not affected by them, they attack the weaker ones. Your parents! Talking about parents... mine aren't ultra cool to let me free if I told them 'I think I am not ready' or 'I haven't met the right guy' or something which I have tried and never worked 'who gets married at 25! You must be kidding me'. You can't blame parents for that... No you cannot! They got married even before they knew they would be married. Remember?  
After days of explaining, shedding tears and all the usual drama when you finally feel that you have gotten your parents on your side and they agree to give you time, you still haven't won the battle sistah. You have got to hear all that they are going to tell you and see all that they are going to show you.

For example , my sister has been married for 5 years now. She got married when she was 24! I had told her.. in fact had promised her that I could get her off the engagement at any moment before the wedding if she felt that she wasn't ready for marriage. But she did not utilize that life line, not my fault. But even today whenever she catches me being lazy or ignorant, she tells me with rage 'you know, I had a kid when I was your age!'. I forgive her, because she is just jealous that I don't have a kid to look after. Some times when I cry because I am upset over something, she tells me 'I know what you are thinking Shru.. I know that you are feeling lonely, you want to have a family of your own too.. right?' with utmost sympathy and I think 'Fish, when did I say that?'. I have a cousin sister who once gave me an advise that 'You should get married at least by 25 so that you can enjoy marital life for 2 years and then have kids by 27. By the time your kids finish high school, you'll retire and will have saved enough money for their future'. I agree that this suggestion makes sense but I am a slave for the uncertainty of future. My point is... NO! My points ARE, 'how do you I know I'll want kids at 27?' 'I am not sure if I would work until I retire!' I might some day come home telling my husband 'Honey, I am done. I want to be a full time home maker now' and most importantly I am not a machine that sets an alarm 'Hey, it's time for marriage', 'Hey, it's time to have a baby'. I mean... come on! All this requires a mind set. MY mind set

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...... and I get tempted to ask those questioning me persistently, who's getting married anyway, you or me?

I want to tell all the single girls who feel the need to empathize with me... please DON'T. Speak up for what you want and if required, it's okay to fight some wars for your wants.  I want a stable job, a promising future and a FEELING that I am ready for an 'I Do'. Until then I will listen to my heart no matter what.

P S Just take care not to take too long to make up your mind!

P P S ..and if you are going to take quiet long then I guess it is safe to at least have found 'the one' who can wait until you are ready! Does that make sense to you? :-)

In case you didn't know

  • - M.Y.O.B (Mind Your Own Business)

Keep your spirits high and calories low



3 comments:

  1. Nice post, Shruti ! don't succumb to any pressure, there is no ideal time or age for anything in life , your happiness should be your first priority- that is all I want to tell you! :)
    Sanghamitra

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  2. Hey Shruti
    Just loved the post and i have experienced all that u said in ur post ...i can so connect to it .
    i got married at the age of 29(after battling all those comments critics etc etc ) ,the thing which worked with me stand by your decision no matter what happens ...
    well boy these comments pressure never end ....now all i get to hear is ....when are we hearing the good news ? ..is there is any good news ..
    All im saying to those ppl -everyday is good news for me :) ...
    Keep posting gal ..
    Im your new reader from your own city bengaluru :)
    -K

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  3. Love love your posts, wish my bofie reads this. He threatened to walk outta the relationship if I didn't agree to marriage. No complains there after all I need an ATM (Kidding!!!)

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